Tag Archives: abuse

My iPod has a tendency to surprise me

Many know that I have songs. Lots and lots of songs. My collection of songs is more than enough that I don’t always know all the songs and music that I have at my side at any given moment. So, it’s not too surprising that my collection can surprise me at times.

Well, yesterday, when I was driving home, I noticed that my iPod was playing a song that I had originally put into “background noise” priority. However, as it continued to play, I realized that the lyrics are dark. Extremely dark. These dark lyrics quickly made the song one of my hidden gems of my collection.

What was this song? Well, feel free to check it out.

I personally have a tendency to sympathize with stories of battered individuals. I myself was once a victim of abuse. My mother used to be shoved into closets when my father was angry. My father broke my mother’s wrist and tried to choke her while I was standing five feet away from her. The actual trigger for my parent’s divorce was the fact that I had a black eye.

I don’t even remember this black eye nor the events around it. My mother once told me that all she could figure out was that apparently I had gotten a dress dirty while visiting my father’s family in Long Island. According to what she was told, I was thrown into the back of a pick-up truck, as in the bed, not the back seat, and my father drove home. So, it is unknown if a punch or the movement from being unrestrained gave me the black eye.

To this day, if you yell at me, I will freeze up and not respond well at all. Yelling and anger are not good things to me. In my brain, they still lead to very bad things such as pain.

Anyway, yea, I may go into more details on my less than wonderful past on some other day. This song still really struck a cord with me when I actually listened to the lyrics.